THE CALENDAR OF SEXY MONSTERS IS AVAILABLE TO ORDER!
If these images are raising your blood pressure, head over to http://etsy.me/1c4Tg8k to get all the gory details and make your clandestine purchases.
You’ve got six options (with or without dates), ranging from $30 to $160, and if you order between now and Dec. 3, your stuff is guaranteed to ship between Nov. 28 and Dec. 13.
The Calendar of Sexy Monsters is a set of twelve illustrations of ten famous movie monsters and two humble working-class monsters looking surprisingly (and seasonably) sensual in a funny (and only mildly disturbing) mutation of the conventional pin-up calendar. Always suggestive, never explicit.
BEWARE: These are not cheap, floppy, stapled square calendars. These are super high-quality, decadently rectangular, collectible giclée prints (manufactured entirely by me in my little home lab) that are gracious enough to help you figure out what day it is (unless you don’t want them to—there are options for you). And they come with a bulldog clip for hanging.
The CoSM also features the most frighteningly silly month names in calendar history.
(In order of appearance)
SLIMER from Ghostbusters!
The XENOMORPH from Alien!
The GILL-MAN from The Creature from the Black Lagoon!
ZUUL (the terror dog) from Ghostbusters!
The 1987 PREDATOR!
COUNT DRACULA from the 1979 Nosferatu!
STRIPE from Gremlins!
Images of all these monsters are lurking at http://erikadudes.com
(these links will take you to my shop)
THE SHORT CALENDAR (11” x 8.5”) $55—the price of twelve pounds of rat food!
THE TALL CALENDAR (8.5” x 17”) $100—the price of a couple rounds of human-strength cocktails and a bit of short-term memory loss!
THE IMMORTAL CALENDAR (11” x 17” prints + detachable 11” x 5” calendars = 11” x 22”) $160—an eternity of strange sexiness for the price of a forgettable night or two in a human hotel!
THE CALENDARLESS CALENDARS
(all the attitude of a sexy calendar, none of the vile dates)
SMALL (4” x 6”) $30—the price of two tickets to a movie with an all-human cast and a tub of soggy popcorn!
MEDIUM (7” x 11”) $75—the price of an hour-long massage from a human with only two arms!
LARGE (11” x 17”) $140—the price of a 50-minute session with a human psychologist who could never see inside you as deeply as twelve passionate monsters.
SMALL (4” x 6”) $5
MEDIUM (7” x 11”) $13
LARGE (11” x 17”) $21